What is vacuuming? The games Narcissists play to suck you back in
Karin SIlvina Hiebaum
Hoovering is what a narcissist will do to captivate you again. Sucking you like a vacuum makes a piece of dirt. Don’t fall for it!
Hoovering is a technique used by people who are either narcissists, borderline personality, sociopaths or other types of personality disorders in which other people are nothing but an instrument or tool they want or where they want to be.
It is called vacuuming because it is a situation in which a person literally sucks someone back into a dysfunctional relationship as soon as the victim has found his way.
Someone who is a victim of narcissism abuse often experiences symptoms such as post-traumatic stress syndrome. They show anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, cognitive dissonance and panic attacks.
When they finally come to terms and find a new normal outside the abuser, the perpetrator tries to «suck» them again, i.e. vacuum cleaners. Again, the abuser treats the person like dirt, so it makes sense on all fronts.
Why is the narcissist narcissist?
A narcissist lives and dies with the attention and worship they receive from those around them. If they have someone, they don’t want them anymore. But if you tear yourself away and fear that they can’t tap off all your feelings and let you dry, then they make the charm to bring you back.
They have a pathological fear of it, not respected, loved or that they are worthless. They use someone to fulfill their emotional need to be important. However, they do it covertly, through emotional manipulation.
Vacuum cleaner tricks – 8 most obvious ways people try to suck you
A narcissist needs people who pay attention to him. Not just a fan, but many with whom they feel important and worthwhile. Since they are internally empty, they find love and acceptance from others to survive.
Similar to a robber, they choose their victims carefully, usually highly empathetic, low self-esteem and dependent on the need to be loved.
How do you know you’re being teased?
When you finally let go of a relationship that has abused you, you are probably confused and trying to heal from the emotional turbulence. If you have questions about whether you have made the right decision, don’t pay attention to yourself and let them ignite you. Or feel like you’ve done the whole thing in your head. You know what they did wasn’t right. You finally took the break. Stay tuned and cut them off.
These are all vacuuming tactics that you have to resist. Don’t forget, they are not in love with you. You are in love with the way you feel. The love they promise is not real. If that were the case, you wouldn’t have had to start over.
#1 They pretend that your relationship never ended. A vacuuming technique is to pretend that you never ended the relationship. To deny them, to leave, to say goodbye to them, or that you told them that it was over and didn’t want to have anything to do with them is a tactic that makes you estimate what really happened. A narcissist often looks like you’re still a couple, no matter how often you say «it’s over.»
#2 They send unexpected gifts. Since you are a possession for them to get you back, think to give you a gift is the way to win you over. Whether flowers, tickets for an event with an invitation or even a lavish jewelry, a narcissist does what he can to win you back by buying your love.
Since their love is based on something other than emotions, they use every tactic they can to suck you again.
# 3 Sorry. It’s not that they don’t want to apologize to win you back, they really don’t feel sorry. Since you know that’s what you’re probably looking for; you have no problem saying: «I’m sorry» for your behavior. Be careful! This does not mean that they really do justice to their mistakes or even feel remorse.
It’s just an attempt to use your weak points as a good-natured soul to win you back.
# 4 They manipulate you indirectly like a puppeteer If they can’t reach you directly because you either blocked them or simply rejected them, they have no shame to go behind your back to find the person who comes to you. They know that if they only come to you, they can fasten your seatbelt again.
The key to manipulation is to find someone in your heart who means the most to you. Children are always a good goal, as are those you trust the most. If you go to the people you confiden to present their case, they manipulate them to bring them back.
Other forms of manipulation are coercion. If you share children or even dogs with them, they have no problem using them as a pledge in their vacuuming game.
# 5 reasons to send you a message. Even if you have made it clear that you are both over, someone who vacuums you will continue to send you banal messages. Things like «Tell your mother happy birthday to me» or «Did you take my photo album?» If you
# 5 reasons to send you a message. Even if you have made it clear that you are both over, someone who vacuums you will continue to send you banal messages. Things like «Tell your mother happy birthday to me» or «Did you record my photo album?» If you’ve never seen her album collection before.
The randomness of the news keeps you on your toes. They constantly throw themselves into your life and wait for the opening when you just give in and respond.
# 6 to tell you how much they love you. The difficulty of this maneuver is that they are unable to love, but you know that love is everything you want.
A narcissist goes very far, even fakes love to you or tells you things like you are «her only soulmate.» Or they «loved you when they first met you. «It’s all a trick to suck you in again.
# 7 Use Drama. If you no longer worship a narcissist and cut him out and all his efforts fail, they could make one last effort drama. Whether it spreads lies or represents scenarios about what you have done to them, revenge will be their last effort to get you to give in and come back.
Like a two-year-old stomping her feet No problem making your life hell so that you give up and just come back to stop it.
# 8 Pretend to really need you. Since you are a giving soul, they have targeted you with * a narcissist pretends that they need you back because they are in trouble.
Knowing that you are the person who can’t get in to help someone who needs them, no matter how you feel, do whatever they can to come to you, including false scenarios such as a sudden or dramatic illness to lure you back.
For a narcissist, there is nothing too far or excessive to bring you back to his worship net. Either hidden or obviously, they do everything in their power to suck you in again, just like a vacuum. So they feed on you again so that they feel fulfilled.
No matter how hard it is when you give up and go on, move on. Don’t get into the suction area of your vacuum cleaner.
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